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Contemporary conscience formation

 and preventing spiritual abuse

Here is a quote from the Council document “Gaudium et Spes”

(“The Church in the Modern World”) Chapter 17:

Man's dignity demands that he act according to a knowing and free choice that is personally motivated and prompted from within, not under blind internal impulse nor by mere external pressure. (GS17)

From the post-synodal apostolic exhortation “Amoris Laetitia,” chapter 37:

We have been called to form consciences,
not to replace them.

The following considerations show that the formation of conscience is a very demanding and often lengthy task, which—as some criticism of Amoris Laetitia shows—seems to overwhelm some bishops.

Above all, it becomes clear that the formation of conscience is by no means a fully realized task of the Church, and that many shortcomings in this regard can also be attributed to shameful deficits in the dialogue between religious doctrine and the findings of modern psychology.

Many aberrations of Christianity, as well as other religions, can be traced back to a lack of adequate formation of conscience. I am convinced that some of the fierce attacks and rejection of religion are also related to this deficit.

1. Thanks to their rational faculties, human beings have the ability to consider the consequences of their decisions and to learn from the effects these have on their lives.

    This enables them to experience freedom, which is an essential part of their human dignity and makes them aware of their responsibility for their decisions and actions.

2.  Because human beings, by virtue of their rational faculties, question the meaning and value of their existence, the meaning and value of the human communities with which their lives are intertwined, and the meaning and value of reality as a whole, they have developed a sensitivity to experiences of value.

In the Western Christian tradition, the following values have emerged as fundamental:

- the absolute value of the personal dignity of every human being
(“personality” and “subsidiarity”),

- a regional and universal common good (“solidarity”)

- responsibility for creation
(value of the community of life in nature: “Everything is connected”; other creatures have a right to life in themselves: see: Encyclical “Laudato si”)

3.  While throughout long periods of history people were obliged from an early age to obey “authorities” (parents, teachers, priests, superiors, rulers), “freedom” in this context was understood as a willingness to obey the orders and systems of rules and prohibitions embodied by these authorities, or to refuse to obey them.

    The fundamental offense was therefore seen as “disobedience.” For disobedience seemed to destroy order and damage the “authority” that was supposed to maintain order.

“Values” were seen primarily in the maintenance of order; in addition to “obedience,” these included, for example, humility, willingness to serve, subordination, adaptability, reliability, loyalty, etc.

4.   In doing so, the primary values in which human dignity is realized were mostly overlooked and often suppressed—such as:

self-awareness, self-confidence, responsibility, decision-making ability, communication skills, etc.

     Jesus made it clear around 2000 years ago that there is a hierarchy of values and that secondary values are subordinate to personal and interpersonal values:

“The Sabbath is made for man, not man for the Sabbath!”

The “Parable of the Good Samaritan” contains a similar message: The compassionate heretic (Samaritan) is contrasted with the law-abiding religious authorities (priest and Levite).

5.   Accordingly, as the evangelists tell us, the words “obedience” and “obey” never appear in Jesus' mouth. Instead, Jesus tells parables, stories from life, to invite people to assess situations with their own perception, their senses, and their moral sense, and to become capable of making decisions.

     The parables are thus a training for Jesus' disciples and believers in spiritual maturity and the development of an independent, responsible conscience.

     “Obedience” was obviously not a value category for Jesus, but rather stood in contrast to the path of becoming mature and spiritually and mentally independent.

6.   Living a life guided by values is a balancing act, as personal values have a polar structure:

self-love and love for others, self-awareness and compassion, affection and respect, freedom and obligation, etc.

     Therefore, recognizing a healthy balance and hierarchy of values is a prerequisite for making appropriate decisions based on conscience.

     Serious conflicts and destructive behaviors are therefore usually not the result of people's malice, but rather the result of an imbalance of polar values (too much self-love – too little love for others; too little self-awareness – too much compassion leads to the appropriation of the other) or a false hierarchy of values – when, for example, secondary values (values of order) take precedence over personal values.

7. Maturity and mental and spiritual independence, i.e., living responsibly according to one's own conscience, is therefore not a primitive “I'll do what I want!” attitude, but requires sensitive alertness to the current situation, attention to both internal and external factors, and the effort of gathering information, reflecting, and carefully weighing the merits of various options and their possible consequences.

     And because we cannot and must not “reinvent the wheel” when it comes to moral issues, it is necessary to incorporate the values and experiences of our ancestors into our decisions when dealing with fundamental questions. The “holy scriptures” and traditions of religions contain very fundamental and concentrated values and experiences. However, since much of this is time-bound and therefore no longer valid today, these texts must be treated very critically and cautiously.  (For more details: >>>)

     People who have not yet learned to live “guided from within” are in danger of adopting the systems of commandments and prohibitions of a religion literally for today.
The destructive consequences this can lead to are demonstrated by fundamentalist and violent believers in various religions.

Why some people prefer to adhere to established laws, traditions, and systems of order and resist any change in values and all innovations:
Due to emotional confusion and fear of feelings, they lack inner orientation.

8. Not a few people are afraid of freedom because it means:
You have to decide for yourself, you have to think for yourself, you have to inform yourself, and afterwards you have to take responsibility for your own decisions. You become “visible” to others and may encounter resistance, you become vulnerable and open to criticism.
It is more comfortable to let others make decisions and then possibly get upset and complain when the effects of those decisions are unpleasant. But such people secretly refuse to grow up, remaining in a childish to adolescent stage of development.

9.  If people were emotionally overwhelmed by misfortunes in childhood and therefore had to repress powerful feelings (grief, fear, pain, etc.), this can lead to them becoming fundamentally afraid of feelings and therefore suppressing their entire emotional state.
Since emotional impulses provide essential decision-making aids, these people lack inner orientation; even rational considerations need the emotional impulses from within as an unconscious basis.
That is why such people seek guidance from outside sources.
This guidance may come from authority figures, traditions, or religious or political systems of rules and prohibitions. Since these are predetermined (“It is written ...”; “We have a law ...”), they have a mentally and emotionally numbing effect and prevent people from responding in a differentiated manner to new situations, new insights, and the complexity of complex problems.
Some of these people are particularly susceptible to ideological worldviews and value systems that respond to complex problems with simple black-and-white answers and do not require very differentiated and long-term process thinking.
That is why such people easily fall prey to demagogues and populist, loud politicians or religious leaders.

10. Since fear of feelings and the resulting lack of inner orientation cause feelings of inferiority, which are often unconscious, such people cling rigidly to predetermined value systems that they refuse to question under any circumstances and whose critics they reject with inappropriate aggression, contempt, and indignation.
Conversely, feelings of inferiority lead people to submit to external instructions in a submissive manner.
People who lack inner orientation are unable to perceive the many nuances of life and the complexity of problematic situations; for them, there is only “good” or “evil,” lawful or unlawful.

In contrast, people with healthy emotionality know that, for example, the feeling of love can also contain an element of possessiveness or contempt, or that the feeling of anger can also contain an element of love.
Valuable guidance for dealing responsibly with complex problems can be found in the post-synodal apostolic exhortation “Amoris Laetitia.” >>>
The opposite of this can be found in the critics of this teaching document.

11. While emotional blockages cause us to lose our inner orientation and therefore cling to an external orientation, the suppression of strong emotions in childhood can lead to us experiencing unbalanced, intense emotional reactions in the present that lead us astray:
Feelings repressed in childhood (anger, disgust, grief, longing, etc.) can erupt in the present due to relatively insignificant triggers and dominate us (irritability, contempt, despondency, anxiety, addictive behavior, etc.) to such an extent that our actions stray from moral ground or we make inappropriate decisions.
Some people who have experienced this subsequently no longer trust their feelings and increasingly seek guidance in a rigid system of rules and prohibitions.

Other reasons why some people are very headstrong and stubborn in their decisions and react closed-minded to objections and different positions:

12. For example, if someone had to grow up too quickly in childhood or adolescence due to the loss of a parent. They were forced to make important decisions all the time, but at that age they had little life experience and did not have the time or energy to weigh up the arguments for and against a particular decision in detail. So they learned to make decisions quickly, stick to them firmly, and not question them or allow them to be questioned, in order to avoid uncertainty. This would have robbed them of the strength they so desperately needed for so many small everyday tasks.
Since such people are often quite successful with their decisions, they feel superior to their peers who have not yet been exposed to such decision-making pressure and are reluctant to let anyone else influence their decisions.
On the other hand, they are in danger of falling back into the unlived phases of youth that they had to skip at the time. The unconscious longing for this carries the risk of making “youthful” decisions that prove inappropriate for the current life situation and then trigger incomprehension in the environment.
Some divorces and economic bankruptcies have such patterns of fate in the background.

Why some people cannot make decisions or are in danger of making wrong decisions:

13. While some people make decisions very quickly and react defensively to objections, others have great difficulty making decisions. They constantly put off pending decisions because they are always afraid of making the wrong choice, and they repeatedly question decisions they have made and sometimes even try to reverse them.
When it comes to important decisions such as choosing a partner, choosing a career, buying a house, etc., this can be disastrous for their entire life.
Such people have usually lost their inner orientation through a lack of awareness of their feelings and notice that, on a rational level, there are always just as many reasons against a particular decision as there are for it.
This is because rational reasons alone, which are not weighted by emotional impulses, often cancel each other out and can thus lead to mental paralysis.

14. Another reason for such indecision may be that, as a child, you made small decisions in good faith, only to be severely criticized and devalued by insensitive parents for their negative consequences.
Since the reliability of the emotional bond with the parents, which was suddenly shaken here, takes precedence over the feelings triggered by a childish decision, a child will no longer trust their own emotions in the future, but will instead follow the will of their parents, i.e., surrender to external control in order not to lose their parents' affection.

15. Another reason for decision-making inhibition:
As a little girl, a woman had fallen into an extreme helper role for her mother, who was unable to defend herself against her husband's disparagement, verbal abuse, and beatings. The mother clung to her daughter. Caring for her and loving her gave her a certain raison d'être and emotional vitality.
The compassion and concern for her mother occupied the daughter emotionally throughout her childhood and adolescence to such an extent that she did not learn to perceive herself. This “occupation” of her psyche by her mother's strong feelings prevented her from finding herself and therefore, as would be necessary during puberty, from protecting herself from her parents' emotionality.
Later, she panicked and felt deeply inferior when she had to make important decisions for herself.

16.There is another problem with being occupied by foreign feelings that systemic psychology has recognized:

Whether we are aware of it or not, we are emotionally connected to our family members and ancestors. This is especially true of those who had a difficult fate or were forgotten, despised, and marginalized—perhaps because they were difficult people. Our unconscious not only stores the repressions from our own life history, but can also develop such strong empathy with the fate of an ancestor that it leads to unconscious identification. This kind of empathy can be more powerful than the feelings triggered by our own experiences. As a result, we feel emotionally occupied and burdened by emotional energies that confuse us because we do not recognize their cause.

Perhaps we are sad or aggressive, feel constantly disadvantaged or full of guilt, and do not know why. When we do not understand our emotional states, we may feel paralyzed because we do not know what kind of actions triggered these feelings or what kind of actions could free us from these burdensome feelings, or we are constantly running away from our inner selves through distractions of all kinds; this makes us hectic and restless and unable to find ourselves.
This makes us difficult and annoying for those around us, but also leads to feelings of inferiority and deep dissatisfaction, which can manifest themselves in all kinds of dangerous lust for life.

This kind of emotional attachment to our ancestors is particularly problematic because it leads people to distrust their inner selves, to perceive their emotional world as burdensome and confusing, and to fail to learn to receive signals from it for their moral decisions, which would enable them to shape their lives independently and responsibly.

That is why such people tend to defer to authority and advocate authoritarian systems of order in religion, politics, and all areas of society. They trust in external control and do not believe in emotional maturity.

17.Whenever feelings become so powerful that they seem disproportionately intense in relation to the present situation, we should reflect on our own childhood and also become aware of our connection to our ancestors in order to understand the origin of these powerful feelings and resolve them through healing rituals. (More details >>> )
Since such feelings are not meaningless, but rather indications that something in our own childhood needs healing or that one of our ancestors has not yet been adequately honored and respected in their fate, such emotional problems are signals for spiritual homework that needs to be done in order to find peace with our own past and peace with our ancestors.

Summary

18. Religious fanatics and extremists, as well as people who rigidly adhere to outdated beliefs and moral concepts—regardless of their religion—usually have one of the following psychological backgrounds (this list is not exhaustive!):

(1) Emotional overload due to misfortunes and particular stresses in childhood can lead to a
      lasting fear of feelings. The suppression of feelings leads to a loss of inner orientation.

(2) If their parents have experienced such things, their children may adopt the taboo of
      expressing feelings and therefore repress their feelings just like their parents.

(3) Too little attention in childhood can later lead to inappropriate emotional outbursts.

(4) Emotional and physical abuse in childhood by caregivers can later lead to inappropriate
      emotional reactions.

(5) A child taking on an extreme helper role for a suffering caregiver (usually a parent or
     grandparent) can lead to the child being overwhelmed by foreign emotions and blocking their
     own emotional world.

(6) Parents repressing strong emotions can cause these emotions to end up in the child's soul,
      where they lead to emotional overload.

(7) If parents disparage a grandparent or other relative, a child may unconsciously feel connected to that person and become emotionally preoccupied, preventing them from finding emotional balance.

(8)  Children who grow up in a family or cultural environment where they are subjected to extreme demands for obedience from an early age due to the prevailing authority structures have no opportunity to perceive the full range of their own feelings and express important emotions.

Such people cannot learn to act “moved and guided from within.” Some lead unstable and reckless lives, while others seek “external control,” e.g., on the basis of so-called “holy scriptures,” and try to lead a true and godly life by implementing them literally.

19. The religious community as a corrective for unbalanced decisions of conscience:
No one can assess for themselves or others how free they are from inner constraints and burdens and therefore capable of making a balanced decision of conscience. That is why dialogue with people who also try to live in a value-oriented and “internally guided” manner is necessary.
This requires a willingness to communicate, to offer fair criticism and to accept fair criticism, to tolerate differences of opinion and to allow oneself to be questioned.
This requires an atmosphere of trust and mutual fundamental appreciation and respect for one another – even if one cannot (yet) understand the other person's point of view.
The “church” should actually consist of such communities of trust, appreciation, and lively dialogue, that is, of people who strive to live in a value-oriented and “internally guided” manner.
The fact that this is not the case in many areas and at many levels of the church shows how much the church in our time is in need of reform and how little it corresponds to the spirit of Jesus.

20. Personal responsibility and the “mystery of evil”:
Time and again, especially in Catholic circles, one hears: “The devil is behind this terrible crime.”
Just as it is problematic to cite God as the cause of fascinating events in nature, where secondary causes and the “autonomy of earthly realities” should be considered, it is equally problematic and damaging to credibility when the Church is too quick to cite Satan and the “mystery of evil” in connection with terrible crimes whose causes we do not (yet) know.
Instead, efforts to investigate should be intensified.
When talking about the devil, Satan, and the “mystery of evil,” there is a danger of wanting to spare oneself the effort and responsibility of gaining a deeper understanding of the psychological background. Such talk reinforces feelings of powerlessness and leads to an inappropriate way of praying.
The phrase “mystery of evil” should therefore be used with great caution. 

Concluding remarks

For people to act “moved and guided from within,” as Jesus' message invites them to do and as the Second Vatican Council clearly formulated for the Church and thus for Christians in 1965, requires a process of spiritual and emotional maturation.

The Church should not only enable this process, but also initiate and accompany it, so that Christians, conscious of their dignity as “children of God,” become loving and responsible stewards of God's creation and bring their own lives to fruition.

To this end, it is necessary for people not only to use their intellectual powers to make sound decisions of conscience, but also to learn to deal with their emotional impulses attentively and responsibly.

However, this requires recognizing and breaking down the many possible emotional blockages. This requires not only a healthy spirituality, but also some knowledge of psychological processes and their healing possibilities.

The second part of the Benedictine rule of life, “Pray and work!”, refers in our time not only to manual or intellectual work, but also, according to current knowledge of psychological processes, to spiritual work, which many in the Church must first learn.

Similar to development aid for economically underdeveloped countries, where prayer and spirituality alone cannot solve the problems, but where agricultural, business, and economic policy knowledge is often required, it is also necessary for many psychological problems to acquire a certain amount of analytical knowledge and tools in order to progress on the path to responsible maturity. >>>

Just as it is sometimes necessary to consult a specialist for certain technical or physical problems, this will also be necessary for problems involving decisions of conscience. However, consulting specialists must not lead to self-disempowerment, but rather follow the principle of “helping people to help themselves.”

Otherwise, it will be crucial whether “pastoral counselors” are experts in the borderline area between spirituality and psychological processes and whether parishes can offer a high level of competence in healthy conscience formation for parishioners through appropriate educational work.

Manfred Hanglberger (www.hanglberger-manfed.de )

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A contemporary understanding of faith >>>

Necessary steps for church reform >>>

Obedience in the church >>>

„Secularization“: The problem und its solution >>>

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