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Mourning for an aborted child

1. Get in touch with the child internally and accept it as your own child afterwards:
"You belong to me",
"You are my child, I accept you."

2. Give the child a name and address him/her by name.

3. Look for a symbol for the child and also give this symbol a good place in the home.
(Paint a picture, a wooden doll, ……. )

4. Show the child the beautiful things in the world for a year and so let it participate in the life of the mother and what connects the mother with life in this world.

5. Allow feelings of guilt and pain and give them space within themselves.
(The pain is the recognition of the relationship with the child;
who accepts the pain will feel that it is valuable and becomes weaker)

6. After a year, write a farewell letter to the child.

7. Put your hands on your belly and feel whether your own SELF has a good place there,
whether your own childhood was painful and perhaps not yet accepted and healed.
(Perhaps the aborted child had no place in the mother's life, because she herself with her ego and her childhood had no place in herself yet)

8. Involve the child's father in your own grieving process, if possible.

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Manfred Hanglberger (www.hanglberger-manfred.de)

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