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Link to share: https://hanglberger-manfred.de/seele-kind-en.htm
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The soul of a child
1. The child directly participates in the physical and mental life of the mother before birth: The child feels all the physical and emotional movements of the mother in the womb: Palpitations, anxiety, tension, relaxation, sadness, anger, stress, lust,...
2. The child cannot distinguish between co-feeling and feeling before birth and some time after birth. It lives in identification, in a psychic unity with the mother. In doing so, the feelings of the mother in the child’s soul can be more powerful and claim more psychic space than the child’s own feelings. The child’s soul is widely “occupied” by the feelings of the mother.
3. The child is part of the soul of the mother and of the father. The physical connection between father and mother creates a common mental space that the child experiences as its own psychic space. The child can therefore feel emotional sensations of both parents as its own.
4. The child most strongly senses the psychic energies that the parents displace, “swallow,” do not express, do not want to perceive, can't stand. In the physical-soul memory (in the “unconscious”) they remain stored and alive. The soul of the child becomes the refuge of the repressed soul parts of the parents: — The displacement of events and feelings from the current life situation — The displacement of events and feelings from earlier phases of life (e.g. from the childhood of parents)
5. The little child lives largely “unconsciously”: In physical and mental perception. But the body-soul unit of the child perceives the child’s own world of relationships and that of the parents extremely sensitively. A child is mentally between the parents: Through the child flows through, which connects the parents internally or burdens each other. It senses what parents do to each other and also what they have suffered during their childhood.
6. The child is the “weakest” part of the soul of the parents, he cannot “create” himself, he cannot control himself, do not submit to the will of the body: Through the child, the unlived psychic life of the parents can flow to the surface and thus “be born”. The child can become a “soul birth channel” for the repressed or devalued soul portions of the parents.
7. The soul (internal world of thoughts and feelings) wants to be born; the inner world wants to express itself in the outside world; The spiritual-selian wants to take material form; Incarnation (incarnation) is a precursor of physical and spiritual life. In the child, the denial, the devalued, the oppressed, the unlived of the parents seek a way to the surface of reality.
8. When the child is born, his soul is far from born. The birth of the soul is a lifelong development characterised by fundamental fundamental psychological needs: (1) It may be accepted (but not as “property”). (2) Be aware of: First outwardly, later more and more spiritually (through interest and compassion) (3) Permitted to distinguish, may be different (also vis-à-vis parents), may be an original. (4) You may show yourself: To express what one feels, wants and thinks. (5) Regardless of being in “being different” (having a place of goodwill and respect in the “heart” of parents) and the parents can respect.
9. The child experiences the world and the people extremely subjectively: in other words, all events are directly related to themselves (perception of omnipotence or total surrender): — “What have I done for the parents to split up?” — “What have I done that Mom has so little time for me” The child therefore gets bad feelings of guilt and/or anger, if the parents neglect it, when they divorce, when a parent dies, if he or she is mentally or physically abused, if ...
10. In addition to feelings of guilt and anger, strokes of fate and other mental strains can also arise: Anxiety, distrust of oneself and others, action blockages, decision blockades, overactivity, shyness, overadaptation, inferiority, because the child does not see through the causes of his psychological pain and believes everything suffering is justified by his own existence and by his own behavior.
11. The child has a very sensitive perception of injustices, exclusions or devaluations in parents’ thinking and behaviour, but also for forgetting or denying people who belong to the system of kinship. The child (like every person) carries the entire family system in itself and plays a special role in the whole of the system.
12. The child “believes” in appreciation, trust, understanding and respect among family members. (It may refer to a possible contempt of parents towards another person). It may be committed to the marginalised, forgotten, despised, scapegoats in kinship by opening one’s own soul to these people and thus taking over their energies (their problems and traits): this leads to unconscious identification (imagination of the other through imitation, i.e. through “unconscious love”). Even if the father or mother despises or does not know the partner or his own parent, the child is burdened because he or she wants to love all (want to let everyone listen to it).
13. The child believes the parents: A devaluation of the child by the parents causes self-devaluation in the child: “You'll be nothing”: Such statements seem like a curse. The child’s unconscious love for parents works according to the principle: “You should be right”: Therefore, failure, self-blocking, self-punishment, and feelings of inferiority may later result in the child.
14. The child always loves the parents – until the task of self. Problematic behaviors are often unconscious attempts by a child to get parents on a healthy path. The more unresolved psychological problems the parents carry within themselves, the greater the risk that the child will renounce the development of its own self in order to help the parents mentally.
15. The child bears the type of partner relationship of the parents: Partnership (may be an original and respected) or dominion (guardian, contempt, “possession”). Possible consequence: Addiction behavior of the child out of unconscious love for the submissive parent. In the case of addiction, the proportion of unconscious love and solidarity with the devalued parent must be respected.
16. Children’s misconduct is often a symptom of revealing something important: For example, one parent has not yet managed to accept and stand by the whole of his life story. Or if a parent could not yet say goodbye to a loved one and not yet respect his death.
17. Even as infants, children need the distinction from the “inner child” of the parents. Parents are in danger of trying to comfort their newborn child’s psychological pains from their own childhood, they confuse their own childhood with the child born, and thus do not respect its originality and otherness. Children are often the projection screen for a painful children’s story from the childhood of their parents. The parents’ reconciliation work with their own childhood relieves the born child.
18. The child enters a world that evaluates feelings and partly forbids: The children thus get into a mental hopelessness, they think they have to hide; Begin to reject oneself inwardly, to separate something from oneself. But: All feelings are “organs of the soul”. They contain messages and valuable energies and want to be taken seriously and understood.
19. The child comes into a world where he will be emotionally overwhelmed and injured: a later study of childhood by adults is a natural “home task”.
20. The child adores the parents. But the “perfect parents” can't stand it. Honesty and self-criticism is demanded by parents, a realistic view of one’s own light and dark sides: The mentally healthy person has a good relationship with his own stupidity and is ready to learn.
21. Children want to be perceived physically and mentally by mother and father, want to be able to experience that both are interested in his existence and later in his experiences.
22. Children suffer when grandparents interfere in the life of the family or when, for example, the mother has more exchanges with her own parents than with her husband. If the parents can also say NO to their own parents at the right time, their child can develop a healthy “soul skin”.
23. Every child wants to be an original, not a replacement for another child, not just a consolation patch on a psychic wound of mum or dad, not a substitute for what Dad or Mama missed or failed to realise in their own childhood.
Manfred Hanglberger (www.hanglberger-manfred.de/homeindex-english.htm )
Link to share: https://hanglberger-manfred.de/seele-kind-en.htm
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