|
LINK to share: https://hanglberger-manfred.de/en-inneres-kind-geborenes-kind.htm
|
|
A mentally relieving exercise for parents and their child (Perception and
fulfillment of a “double task”) A newborn child is able to gently touch and comfort a mother's or father's
emotional pain. Conversely, parents can feel tempted to want to soothe a pain
from their own childhood through loving affection to their newborn child. However, this unconsciously
leads to a kind of confusion
between our own childhood, which we as adults carry within us as an “inner
child”, and the newborn child. In this way, the infant becomes a projection
screen for the emotional pain that adults carry within them. This prevents parents from
adequately recognizing and respecting the originality, the newness and
uniqueness that their child embodies. If the “inner child” of a
parent is projected onto the infant, the infant is unconsciously forced into
a role that is not appropriate and not good for him, as this burdens his own
ego development and self-perception. This is why it is
emotionally valuable and liberating for parents and their child when father
and mother perceive their own “inner child” and thus their childhood stories
anew through their newborn child, but take
responsibility for their “inner child” themselves. The birth of their child
therefore gives parents a twofold task: 1. They
have the task of caring for their newborn child in the right way 2.
and at the same time to take care of the inner acceptance and healing of any
pain from their own childhood. The birth of a child touches
and awakens repressed and forgotten parts of the soul from the parents' past.
How is it possible to make
the important distinction between these two “children”? The following
exercise is intended to help with this: The
mother says to her “inner child”: I
care for you, for little N! (Hands on the belly!) I
comfort you, I protect you, I feel with you, with
everything you experienced when I was little. You belong to me, you are a permanent part of my life story and a
permanent part of my being. I accept you, with all your feelings, whether you
are sad or angry, jealous or defiant, anxious or offended. All your feelings should
have a good place in me. But you should also see that I have become an adult,
that I have already achieved a lot and have now given life to a new person.
Look, here is the child I have given birth to. It is a completely new being
that is to discover its own self and we want to
respect it in its originality and its otherness. We want to accompany it well
and nourish it physically, mentally and spiritually with everything it needs
to become an independent and self-confident person. To
the newborn child: Look,
I take care of my little N., who I was and who continues to be there inside
me. You are not little N., you don't have to replace
her. (Father:
Look, I take care of my little N., who I was and who is still there in me.
You are not little N., you don't have to replace
him.) You
have your own place in my heart. You should have a good place in our family. Maybe
I still carry old pains from my childhood that you have touched. I let you
take me by the hand and lead me back to my own childhood. I want to look at
my own past again and accept every phase as my story. And I want to take care
of everything unresolved and painful in my own history myself and - if
necessary - get help from adults if I can't cope on my own. But
you don't have to be my savior; you are allowed to be “yourself”. You can
take what you need from us to become a self-confident, independent and loving
person; and
you can look ahead, into your future, into a new world that we do not yet know; and
you can find your place in the world where you can feel part of the whole and
develop your strengths and abilities. And
one day you may leave us more and more behind and cultivate the dialog of
your spirit and soul with the diversity of creatures and
also with the mystery from which we have all emerged. God
bless your path and bless our love and care for you! Even if the mother has a
different relationship to the infant than the father due to the immediate
physical experience of pregnancy, it is also very important for the father
not to confuse his own “inner child” with the newborn. The same applies to
the relationship between grandparents and newborn grandchildren. The above
ritual of perception is also helpful for the father or grandparents in a
modified form. Manfred
Hanglberger (www.hanglberger-manfred) LINK to
share: https://hanglberger-manfred.de/en-inneres-kind-geborenes-kind.htm
|
